Rite and Ritual

The Second Coming of Jesus

Posted on June 24th, 2009 in Important Matters, Zombies apocalypse, christmas, jesus, second coming, Zombies

” Peter: As we all know, Christmas is that mystical time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living! So we all sing Christmas Carols to lull him back to sleep.
Bob: Outrageous, How dare he say such blasphemy. I’ve got to do something.
Man #1: Bob, there’s nothing you can do.
Bob: Well, I guess I’ll just have to develop a sense of humor.” [from Family Guy Christmas Quotes.]

I think that’s one of the most awesome things I’ve ever heard.

I made it half-way through Marion Zimmer-Bradley’s “The Mists of Avalon” – retelling of the Arthurian legend through the eyes of its female lead Morgaine (also made into a decent-enough movie) – before my audiobook fizzled off, skipping and what-not. Which is singularly infuriating when the disk is completely clean. Second time this has happened – last time with a Tony Hillerman novel.

Anyway, I greatly enjoyed the novel. I liked the different perspective on the myth, and enjoyed the feminist aspect of it (in certain ways I’m a male feminist – more on that later, I promise). What really struck me though, what most stayed in my mind from the book, is how Morgaine, a priestess of the pre-christian religion of Britain keeps calling Christianity a religion of death, and the Christian god a death god. The way Morgaine sees Christianity, all that’s vibrant and living and fun is sinful, and if there’s anything good its when you die. You get to interact with your god only once you’re dead, and even being born is a sin.

When I read it I said to myself “by golly she’s right!” The christian god is a death god. And while you shouldn’t get away with saying that in a monotheistic context, because “THE god” can’t be “A god”, as a pagan I give myself the liberty; besides, Jehovah himself makes a lot of polytheistic remarks himself. (After all, how can there be other gods if there’s only one? If “false-gods” are made up, why get jealous?)

That said, it bothers me when pagans are overly critical of christianity – after all Asatru itself (old norse religion) worshipped a death god as supreme deity. In fact the similarities are sometimes stunning. But more than that, I think its silly to be critical over one mythology over another. I love myth, I always have, both ancient myth – Indian, Babylonian & Sumerian – as well as not so ancient – Roman, Norse, Finnish, Estonian, Russian… and Islamic, Jewish and Christian myth. After all, you go back to 1200 CE or 300 BCE you will find no myth but living religion. There really is no difference between myth and religion – they’re both stories. In my opinion, religion is to be recited and myth is to be worshipped – both appreciated (and neither believed with faith).

Last thing that comes to mind before I have to run to work is Bill Hicks’ joke about Jesus: Why do christians wear crosses? Do you think that’s why he hasn’t come back yet? Its like going to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on. “Just thinking of John, Jackie. Just thinking of John.” He’s up there saying “No way dad, I’m not going back. They totally missed the point. I’ll go back when they start wearing fishes.” [That was totally paraphrasing, by the way.]